Lights switched off hours ago, should be asleep,
But my brain wont switch off, and now its got deep.
It starts with a memory, a thought from that day,
Then changes to worry, that won’t go away.
Dark thoughts and stresses that seem so much worse,
Because night seems surreal, time goes in reverse.
My partner is sleeping, she needs her rest too,
But I feel so alone, I’m not sure what to do.
Every sound magnified, hearing so clear,
Like it’s so close, and is something to fear.
Head under the covers, hide under my shell ,
But now I’m worried I won’t hear the fire bell.
Tossing and turning, and its getting so warm,
Really can’t do this right through until dawn.
Resisting the urge to keep checking the time,
Because it’s not moving, it’s frozen, flat lined.
Small aches and pains, become threats to life,
Keep convincing myself that cancer is rife.
What is that pain? Feel tight in my chest,
Really its nothing – my heads just a mess.
Not sure what to do now, we are into the morn,
I start counting the hours I have left until dawn.
Should I get up, drink hot chocolate, relax?
Or is that the last blow, the swing of the axe?
Came to bed weary, not slept well in weeks,
And now it seems I’ll continue that streak.
Hard to explain what it’s like to be tired,
All of the time, feeling so uninspired.
Heads in a whir now, every worry too real,
But in the morning wont seem a big deal.
Time to give up now, admit my defeat,
There is no way that I’m getting to sleep.
Everyone says ‘I didn’t sleep well last night’,
But they really don’t get the ongoing fight.
For someone who’s tired each and every day,
Want one good nights sleep, to feel human again.
A condition that most know nothing about,
Its cruel, and it plays on your fear and your doubt.
Very misunderstood, people don’t realise,
The affect that it has on sufferer’s lives.